Heavy Heart

Waking this morning to find out that, Philip Seymour died of a overdose, why do people have such demons? They have so much talent, money and fame and yet, they die like a derelict in the street, maybe it's because no matter what they have, the pain and angst, they suffer is no different.

It scares me as I have suffered all my life with mentall illness, anxiety and clinical depression, yet I push everyday, to try to get to recovery, which I know is only remission, as it always crops up again.
Will there be a day I stop trying, I hope not, I refuse to give in to this!

Making Turkey soup reading The Book Thief

I love making homemade soups, they always make me feel better, the aroma from the soup comforts, me and the thought of taking that first taste, tintillates my senses.

My recovery from depression and anxiety has been a slow one, but I am getting there, I hate to call it recovery, as I believe that those of us who suffer from a long term disorder like anxiety and depression, will really only be in remission, as there will always be the chance of relapse.

But if we can fill our emotional tool box with positive tools, we will have a way to deal with those relapses better.

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Cornflakes and Beer

I had to share this as I thought how crazy anxiety can make you and how you will do anything to stop feeling it, I have been having a terrible week with anxiety, and it ran out of my Xanax early this month as I took extra, not a good idea, yesterday I was feeling so crappy and anxious, that I went and bought a couple beers hoping to quell the anxiety, I rarely drink, this morning I was having so much anxiety, that I opened a beer thinking maybe it would calm me down, at the same time I decided to eat breakfast so I poured a bowl of cornflakes, as I went to eat my cornflakes, I realized how ridiculous it looked to be eating cornflakes and drinking a beer It's certainly not the breakfast of champions.

 

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Feeling crappy

I have been having so much trouble with my anxiety and depression, I was doing so good but now I am back at square one, it is so discouraging.

Woke up panicky

My anxiety is back, I have been doing so good for a few weeks now, I though maybe I had turned a corner but it's back, I will just have to work harder to get better.

Flannel on the outside black silk on inside

I am such a different person at times, I can be so domestic, then so wild and eccentric , maybe everyone's that way, as I grow older though, I wish I had been even more out there than I already was.
Life is short and I think you should live it with gusto.